There he stood glistening orange underneath the thousands of lights pointed at his imposing figure. The fake news NPC Horde stood aghast in front of him because they hate The Orange Man with the fire of a thousand suns. He represents everything that they loath. His ridiculous gold plated toilets, his brash almost autistic way of communicating and above all else his resistance to be politically correct. But, his highest crime above all crimes is the fact that he is orange and a man. A man who acts like one, oh no!!!! A catastrophic calamity of epic proportion that threatens our democracy. And so, there they stood, The Orange Man on one side and the fake news NPC Horde on the other. Ready, with great anticipation, to do battle. Who will win? None can tell. Will it be the NPC Horde? Or Orange Man? Well, to start off with, let’s go over some strengths and weaknesses of the combatants. Since the NPC Horde are primarily bitches we will start off with them first.
Npc horde weaknesses
Almost everything they say is bullshit, they nod and say things in bovine agreement that are completely congruent with their democrat overlords. Individual thought even, even I dare say critical thought will not be given a pot to piss in among the NPC Horde. They gnash and snarl their teeth at anyone who challenges the prevailing narrative. “You are a racist” they say! There is nothing like insulting someone with baseless ad-hominem attacks instead of having an argument on the merits of one’s ideas. Doing this basically means your ideas suck and they cannot pass critical scrutiny.
The Orange Man’s weaknesses
First and foremost he is orange and another thing he is a man. He is also white. For those of you asking yourself why being a man and white is a weakness. Let me explain it to you. Basically being white and a man is a no no nowadays. Even though these are immutable characteristics it is still a no no and that is the basic argument. If you are looking for some grand philosophical explanation you will not find it here. Basically orange man bad. That is how shit stacks up on this one. Other weaknesses: He says crazy shit without thinking. He has gold toilets and he hosted a game show. He lost a lot of money in 1980’s. Also he is orange.
The Dread Lord Acosta
Enter The Dread Lord Acosta the foulest adversary of The Orange Man. One of the most famous duels between these mortal enemies was the infamous microphone incident. And so, there he stood, the Lord Acosta with mic in hand. Ready to ask the stupidest bullshit questions one could think of…who was the subject of the these inane questions? But of course, The Orange Man. What was his line of questioning? Orange Man bad. The Dread Lord Acosta began his questioning. All the other members of the NPC Media Horde stood there watching intently with baited breath. They hoped to see The Orange Man fall, to succumb to the idiocy of Dread Lord Acosta’s questions. Other members of the media, separate from the NPC Media Horde, wondered what in the actual fuck was going on.
This is getting serious. Ladies take a break!
Acosta hit him with the first question: “Why are you orange?” Orange man’s response: “Covfefe”. Question after stupid question was asked. Every response from The Orange Man was meant to mess with the NPC Media Horde. At one point The Orange Man almost gave into the lunacy of Acosta. He walked away from the podium angrily for a moment, his oranginess shimmering behind him. He then demanded that Acosta relinquish the mic but alas The Dread Lord did not. An assistant to The Orange Man tried to take the mic away from Acosta but he still he resisted. He used his hand to block the assistant’s attempt. She was thwarted by The Dread Lord.
After this encounter Acosta was banned from being in the presence of The Orange Man. For a while at least but as you will soon find out this will not last. When Acosta was banned. The entire NPC Media Horde absolutely lost their shit. “You can’t take away his right to free speech” they cried. The Dread Lorde was incensed. How was he supposed to ask inane questions, how was he supposed “challenge” The Orange Man, how was he supposed to waste everybody else’s time with his absolute stupidity. These were the questions The Horde asked, until they realized that these questions made Lord Acosta look bad so they stopped asking them.
The Orange Man has a prolonged history of dealing with The NPC Media Horde. Although, in times passed that were not as bat shit crazy. Something, somewhere awakened their ire. What was it? But of course it was the winning of the 2016 popularity contest. The Orange Man won this contest in all his oranginess. Despite all odds, he won. Many thought he would lose to The Wicked Witch of the West.
The Wicked Witch of the West
Enter the Witch. Oh, yes, she is dreadful! Be afraid, be very afraid! Her skin hung from her face like a zombie’s decaying skin. Her voice was shrill and piercing, it could drive even the mightiest of men crazy. It was her time to win. She demanded it! And all the of the NPC Media Horde was behind her. Are you getting the picture now? This is the main thing that caused The Horde to hate The Orange Man soooo much. They loved The Wicked One. She was their overlord. She gave them their opinions and what they should talk about on daily basis. What would they do without her? Actually think? Use critical thought? Be rational? These three things would be heresy to the NPC Media Horde. According to The Horde the aforementioned three things are tools of the patriarchy invented by white men to subjugate people of color. On a side note isn’t it kind of insulting to think white men came up these things. I mean most every body is capable of using these skills no matter what color you were born.
The Wicked Witch of the West had been lingering around the the proverbial ring of power for ages. Perhaps, even a millennia. She wanted it so bad she could taste it. She had gone through many things to be in the position to grasp the ring of power. It has been long rumored that she liked the ladies as much if not more than most men do. Having said this, it most have been excruciating for her to be married to Billy “I will grab your vagina without asking” Clinton. Unless they had a deal worked where they shared. Yah! Maybe that’s it.
The NPC Media Horde
So we already talked about what drove the media insane. Off the deep end insane! But what we have not talked about is why, to the fullest extent. Well it goes like this….lots of journalist think of themselves as being unbiased and non-partisan this is just simply not true. They are in essence opinion people with an ideological bent. Of course this does not refer to all “journalists” but all a lot of them. Most journalists lean left or are full on activists for the left. Now I am not exactly sure how many of these people are true journalist but I would say maybe about 20 percent. And of course, you have the journalists on the right that are opinion people as well and totally biased. So out of the left and right media only 20 percent are able to put their bias aside and just report.
So when you look at the fact that so many journalists are on the left you can totally understand why most of them freaked the fuck out when His Oranginess got elected. Wanna fact check me on the numbers ok fine. Here you go.
Journalists think that they are being unbiased but they are not, to be sure. They think of themselves as fighting power and taking out the corrupt. They only see themselves as taking out the corrupt because with Trump, he has a different ideology than they do……where were they when Obama was President? There were real scandals during Obama’s presidency! All I can remember is a cock sucking love fest for Obama. This is not real journalism. This is shit journalism. This goes for the right wing media that do the same for Trump.
The journalists loved Obama because to them he represented all that is good and right in the universe. Hold up there journaloons lets go over some scandals in Obama’s presidency. Ready, set, let’s get crooked: Fast and furious, Benghazi and Irs abuses. To refresh your memory here is a quick break down of those scandals.
Fast and furious: The U.S. was selling guns to cartels in Mexico.
Benghazi: Americans were killed when a U.S. embassy was overrun.
Irs abuses: The irs was used to target political opponents.
I do not bring these up to suggest that The Orange Man’s presidency will not be scandal free. I do not know if you would consider these scandals but the prosecution of Assange, bombing of Syria and the war in Yemen are very troubling. So yah! Orange Man has some problems but one of the things I love about him is the triggering of bitches. Both male and female bitches that is!
The triggering of bitches
So why did all the bitches get triggered? Let’s do a deep dive. I think it has to do with three things. This first being education and second the media and the third personality. Since this work of art is focusing on the media. We will just talk about that. A study put out by Harvard’s Byron York showed 93 percent of the coverage by the NPC Horde on His Oranginess has been negative. Remember that crazy stat that was mentioned earlier on in this article about 93 percent of the NPC media being democrat or leaning left. Well, I wonder if there is a freaking correlation? Huh? Very interesting. This is why the term fake news is used so often. Because alot of what the NPC horde reports is fake news. Total and complete fakery of fakeness!
So when scores of mindless under 25 somethings whose pre-frontal cortex has not even fully formed yet, watch the fake news. They get triggered! The feeling wing of the American public is in utter emotional turmoil over Potus and the media is not helping. If they would report accurately on The Orange Man then maybe everyone could chill out a little bit. To be fair though…Fox News did the same thing with Obama. However, it was no where near as loud because it was just one channel and a lot of lefties are bitches nowadays. It is actually quite hilarious. There is a real diagnosable mental disorder called “Trump Anxiety Disorder”. Love or hate The Orange Man. If he is causing a totally new mental disorder he is pretty fucking effective.
The rise of Orange Man
A lot of the left wing media and lefties in general were in utter shock when His Oranginess got elected. They obviously did not see it coming. Why do you think that is? It’s because they liked everything that was happening across the world and especially in the U.S.
What were some of those things you ask?
Years and years of political correctness telling everybody what they could and could not say. They LOVE political correctness soooo much because they really want to be able to control the narrative. When The Orange Man got elected perhaps even before they had lost control.
Bad trade deals that hurt the working class and open borders. Along with that shipping jobs overseas.
The authoritarian left controlling the narrative on so many things.
Last of all, we elect people to make decisions on our behalf. Most of the time the people we elected were making decisions on their behalf. They passed bills and made trade deals that lined their own pockets with money instead of making sure that what ever they did benefited the people.
In closing, to the establishment that hate Donald Trump on the left and the right. You can and cry bitch and moan all you want about His Oranginess but it is your fucking fault he got elected.